It’s Monday and W/we’re all gonna die.
“Who wakes up one morning and thinks, “gee – I wonder if there’s gonna be a dead body waiting for me when I come home later on?” I mean – really. Aren’t there any safe assumptions surrounding suitable depositories for corpses, like, “the body gets dumped anywhere except the sidewalk in front of your house?” So begins the first book. “(Faulty) Assumption # 1:...
MID-WEEK TORTURE: Round and round She goes.
Childhood delight – raising your stick into the wind – or blowing into it yourself. Nothing more pressing to do than watch the pinwheel’s whirl of bright colors go round and round and round. Pure delight. Adult terror – living in fear of the stick – blowing it in life no matter how hard you try. Everything pressing in around you with so...
DIRTY THURSDAY: April Showers –
bring May flowers or – the feeling of empowerment (marking your territory) nourishment for your sick little soul (you pee slut) jail time (unlawful urination in public). W/we all have to do it or W/we die. And, admit it, you like to look. (Uh-huh… at least sometimes, you just have to – it’s an unavoidable compulsion to survey your spray.) Whether you is the biggest baddest Bitch/Dawg on the...
Ancient dominatrix mites found trapped in amber... →
Saturday evening rim job.
Flo said it first. And, not the Flo that hangs out pimping car insurance – the original Flo – the Badass redheaded hash-slinger from Mel’s Diner: KISS MY GRITS. When I’m in a certain mood – like the one I’m gearing up for this Saturday evening right here in the River City of Richmond, Virginia, I have one (comparable) thing to say: LICK MY ASS. I’m expecting a superb rim job from those little...
Solicited Advice: Hold onto your balls, buster.
Dear Lorna Pearce, What the hell is wrong with you girls these days? Here I am a nice guy. I know how to treat a woman. But all you girls want to do is beat a good man up and down. I don’t have to take that abuse. I do nothing but good things and you constantly bombard me with negative bullshit. You can’t have a conversation without telling me how wrong everything is about us and our...