As I let you know in the first book: “The extent that I care anything at all about who you are or where you’re coming from or whatever your psychological motivation, spiritual orientation, physical compulsion might be in engaging my services is bound up in my own professional standard of excellence.”
But that’s Me. And in your world at any given moment, I am the only one whose opinion matters to you in that moment.
Like right now.
Technically, psychology is the study of the mind, AKA your “psyche,” AKA your mental functions from whence the term evolved. Psychologists seek to understand how what you process mentally is connected to behavior. They also examine how your biological makeup plays into what you ultimately think and how you behave, like whether some people are truly “born” to be submissive or dominant.
Context, kiddos, context.
With psychology, BDSM has mostly been treated in varying degrees of deviance as shaped by something people who use big fancy words like to call societal norms. And, what we considered deviant yesterday, like interracial relationships, becomes acceptable, or at the very least “normal.”
I already talked about how the definitive reference source for “mental health” professionals, the DSM diagnostic manual continues to update itself as O/our concept of psychological “disorder” changes with the times. See My previous Thursday Therapy entry: To kink or not to kink.
From the outside looking in, BDSM is “dangerous” or “scary.” And, what kind of freak of nature are you (?) the people sitting in their own glass houses ask. (It’s not really a question…)
Jennifer Sweeton, who writes for Psychology Today in “Out of the Ordinary,” a blog dedicated to “the latest insights into sexploration, alternative relationships, and different ways of loving,” explores how BDSM seems to be generally perceived by the psychological mainstream. In her article, “What’s dangerous about BDSM? BDSM: Loving, dangerous, or deviant?” she affirms: “By asserting that the inclusion of S&M in sex precludes a person from experiencing love, the article is endorsing the idea that there is only one way to love.”
Ahhh…love. That is what it all comes back to.
Hush, My dear little one, your protests don’t mean a thing to Me.
If you ever had or dare ever have any question, here’s the reminder I clearly state on the very first page of the first book:
I’m not a hooker.
Does it turn Me on to see you suffer through My creative indignities? Yes. And, as I go on to clarify for you in chapter six of the first book, “If you’ve made it this far:”
“In My business, what you pay for is the privilege of turning over your power to Me, (which inevitably involves humiliation.) A power exchange does involve sexual energy. It is a mutual turn-on. And, a form of sexual release can, and often does, occur – for both of U/us. However – it’s a hell of a lot of work to properly deal with someone else’s helplessness. Exhausting sometimes.”
And, if you’re smart, you know that My personal motto is:
This will hurt – love the pain.
So, back to O/our topic at hand – what about psychology in BDSM?
Since you pay for the privilege of being privy to My thoughts when you buy My books … I aim to hurt you as it suits Me. I especially enjoy doling out My loving discipline in the ways you are so obviously begging for – that you so obviously need.
Do I know for sure what you’re thinking when W/we are having our special little lovemaking sessions?
you better know the answer to that one, you sniveling little asshole.
A solid steady workout doing work I enjoy is the culmination of a lovely day. Having My patience tested is not.
Enough already. Here’s the fucking answer: whether I ultimately know what’s going on in your psyche is irrelevant to the context of the GOOD PARTs we share.
What kind of professional would I be if I didn’t train you properly to ultimately think what I dictate to you? However, as I’ve also clarified for you before, and – O. M. FUCKING. G. – how often do I have to fucking repeat Myself before you learn properly?
(Don’t answer that. It’s not really a question.)
I only deal in willing submission. Training you to think My way is not the same as kicking your will out to the highway. you must always have a will in order to be able to submit.
As you go through your day with any number of bosses, co-workers, friends, neighbors, relatives or lovers trying to get into your head: “No matter how helpless you let yourself feel on any given day, know this: no one can ever take your power away from you. you can only submit and give your power away. Even with a gun held to your head your will is your own.”
(Again, see chapter six of the first book.)
Think for yourselves, kiddos. And, go show yourselves some love – even if it is painful. Slaps and kisses.